Parents Q&A

Question:

I have 3 boys. The oldest is 12, the middle 11 and youngest 7. The middle child has ADHD. My oldest son is a bully to the middle child. My question is how do I handle my sons when they are bickering in front of their friends outside? For instance, my oldest son and friends wanted to play soccer and the middle one said, “I don't want to play,” and the oldest makes fun of him for not wanting to play the game and the neighborhood kids make fun also. This is an every other day occurrence. Thanks for your help in advance

Question: Hi, I attended your session at the Adlerian Conference in Myrtle Beach. It was really great! I now have a 14-month-old son and recently bought your book Positive Discipline, The First Three Years as he began to really start to show his little personality and I realized wow, I need help! I finished it tonight but still have a question and really wanted your opinion about the issue of hitting. Our son, is a very happy toddler but lately when he gets angry he will hit me and my husband in the face.

I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when its time to leave, whether it's the Klubhouse, or his everyday care provider, or leaving the park — wherever.

Question:
Jane - How old do you suggest children be to start family meetings? My boys are 3 1/2 and 5 years old. I'd like to start family meetings to discuss issues that need to be addressed and get the boys involved, but I'm thinking they may be too young. Thanks.

Question:

I am the mother of a 3yr old boy (his birthday is actually tomorrow) and he is also a student in my Montessori school. Over the year he has been at school we have had many challenges with me being "around" a lot and never really having that separation from me that other kids get. (I don't teach anymore but still sub sometimes in his class.) He recently turned a corner, seems to be doing well and is settling down. He is also very bright. He has a fantastic vocabulary and wonderful memory retention. He is independent and capable.

Question:

Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20 month old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start with "she actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too.

I have read a lot on your site, looking for some specific solutions for toddlers and I find that even the advice that is supposed to be for toddlers really seems too advanced for my 22-month-old.

Question:

My wife and I do not know what to do about our daughter's rebelling. She refuses to do anything that we ask her to do. She has been caught drinking, smoking cigarettes, shoplifting, and possibly using drugs.

“I want to get a divorce, but I'm so afraid it will hurt my children.  Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of the children?”

Question:

I have a 5-year-old son and three-month-old daughter. My son seems to have adapted fairly well to the new addition but there is one major problem. Every time he sees her napping he will scare her to wake her up. She gets absolutely hysterical, so he gets the reaction that he wants. I do not know what to do. We live in a small 1927 home so the only room that has locks is the bathroom, otherwise, I would just lock her in the room, although, I still think he would find a way to wake her up.