Teachers

Rudolf Dreikurs taught, “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.” In other words, encouragement is essential. Children may not die without encouragement, but they certainly wither. Since encouragement is so essential, it would be good for parents to know exactly what encouragement means and how to do it. Let’s start with what encouragement is not.

In the world of early childhood education, empowering children with important social and life skills is paramount. One powerful tool in achieving this is the "Wheel of Choice". This simple yet effective tool can be used both in the classroom and at home to foster decision-making skills and emotional regulation in young children.

Rudolf Dreikurs taught the importance of being both kind and firm in our relations with children. Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. Permissive methods lack firmness. Kindness and firmness are essential for Positive Discipline.

I received an email from a person who wondered about the differences between the many Positive Discipline books. My guess is that many people have the same question so I created this very brief thumbnail description.

An excerpt from Positive Discipline by Dr. Jane Nelsen

Mutual respect incorporates attitudes of: (1) faith in the abilities of yourself and others; (2) interest in the point of view of others as well as your own; and (3) willingness to take responsibility and ownership for your own contribution to the problem. The best way to teach these attitudes to children is by modeling them. You will see how the concepts of timing and winning cooperation can be merged with the concept of mutual respect.

The majority of discipline models practiced in homes and schools today are based on punishments and rewards. Positive Discipline is based on the Adlerian model of eliminating all punishment and rewards in favor of encouragement that addresses the basic needs of children to belong and feel significant. Our task is to help children find belonging and significance in socially useful ways.

Class meetings invite students to learn by doing. They provide the practice arena for all of the skills necessary to grow citizens who are responsible, respectful and resourceful members of the community.

The Positive Discipline vision is about schools where children never experience humiliation when they fail but instead feel empowered by the opportunity to learn from their mistakes in a safe environment. Many of the social and emotional skills students learn are represented in the Significant Seven Perceptions and Skills.

When I was an elementary school counselor and first tried to get students involved in class meetings, we were not successful. I thought the students just weren't ready; but it was me who wasn't ready. I didn't have a step-by-step plan for teaching the skills for class meetings, and I didn't understand that it would take time for the kids to practice and learn them. I needed to take time for training for myself first before I could help the students.

I love all of the Positive Discipline tools, but when I had the opportunity to choose a few of my favorites to write about, I knew that “Pay Attention” would be at the top of my list to share.  It might seem painfully obvious: of course we’re paying attention to the kids we watch, that’s our job!  However, I do invite you to reflect on if you are truly, deeply paying attention to the kiddos around you.  

I feel amazed and grateful for the growth of Positive Discipline. There are so many wonderful people all around the world using Positive Discipline in their daily lives. Our Positive Discipline Association is growing every day and I see people encouraging and helping each other apply the principles of Positive Discipline.