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Goal Setting with Children

The following is an article I wrote for the Activity/Resource book that is part of the Five CD Positive Discipline Workshop: How to Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be While Helping Empowering Your Children to Feel Capable, Confident, and Competent. It is long, and contains lots of helpful information.

Workshop Results

Success Letter from Workshop Participant

Hi Jane,

As far as I am concerned, the workshop is far from over! I've been reading all my books, Understanding Serenity, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Positive Discipline A to Z, the main Positive Discipline Book.—as well as listening to your CDS. Your philosophy on living and parenting, your principles about living and parenting—your way of living in general—give me more hope than anything else I have ever come across. I am truly inspired, and am already incorporating many of the tools—family meetings, remembering that mistakes are opportunities to learn, asking what and how curiosity questions, looking for solutions instead of blame, sharing encouraging messages (I have faith in you, is my fav.) and always getting the message of love across.

Grandson Crying at Preschool

Dear Jane,

Please help me to help my grandson! He is only 26 months old and his parents decided to take him to a nursery although I personally think that he is not ready yet to deal with this experience, the way that is usually given to all children by the nurseries here in Cyprus.

Taming Temper Tantrums

I was in a mall store with my son who was about 16-17 months old and was a pretty talented tantrum thrower. He didn't have a problem walking around the mall; he just hated going into the actual stores; so I could count on him to get upset when we walked in.

Toddler Demands Constant Attention

Question:

I have just ordered Positive Discipline for Preschoolers and Positive Discipline the First Three Years but while I wait for the books to arrive I could really use some advice. I am a single mother of a 16-month-old girl. Her father has her occasionally but I am with her more or less 24/7 and sometimes I get really stressed out. My main problem is that she wants my attention all the time and if I don't give it to her she starts to cry and cry until I do something about it. I don't seem to have 1 second to myself and sometimes I get really frustrated.

Communicate with Kids about Drugs

This will be a very long blog, because it includes a huge portion of Chapter Eight from the book, Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery by Jane Nelsen, Riki Intner, and Jane Nelsen. Since we just did a podcast on this book, I thought you might find it helpful to have this section on talking with kids about drugs—whether or not you are in recovery.

Don’t Backtalk Back

Question:

Help! Jane I REALLY need your help. My 4-year-old daughter will not stop saying UGLY and I mean Ugly things to me when she does not get what she wants or when she does not get her way. I have recently purchased your book Positive Discipline. Maybe I have not read far enough on what I am to do. I can not tell you how much I love your advice so far, But I feel so out of control and it is really upsetting. If you have any words of wisdom for me I would REALLY appreciate it. Thank you so much for all that you do to help parents like me.

When Children Hit

Question: Hello. I have two of your books - A to Z and PD for Preschoolers and neither quite addresses our issue. On the topic of hitting you say: When your preschooler hits you, decide what you will do instead of trying to control your child. Let her know that every time she hits you, you will leave the room until she is ready to treat you respectfully. After you have told her this once, follow through without any words. Leave immediately. The thing is, if I try to do this, my son chases me (and his dad) out of the room, hitting all the while. I cannot leave without him hot on my heels. If I remove him (pick him up), he is kicking and screaming and will only stay somewhere if I lock him in. How do I approach this? Thank you for your time. Caroline

Question:
I am the step-mom of two active boys. One who is 6 and one who is 9. After I moved in a year ago, their father and I have been using your positive approach to raising our kids. Some days we are good at it and some days we have to go back to the books. I have two questions. You are always talking about appropriate consequences. Can you give a novice some specific examples for what appropriate consequences are? What can you do when your 6 (then 5 year old ) Kindergartner, who was never in day care, won't speed up in the morning and is in danger of missing the bus?

The most rewarding part of my work is hearing from people who have found it so encouraging in their lives.