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Curiosity Questions Conversational

One of the most important skills that both models mutual respect and allows children to develop their perceptions of personal capability is open-ended questioning. This Positive Discipline Tool, Curiosity Questions, also helps develop “social feeling” because the child feels respectfully included.

by Jane Nelsen and Kelly Gfroerer

Students feel belonging (connection) and significance (capable) when they have opportunities to contribute.

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? —Jane Nelsen

Conferences are respectful when parents, teachers, and students are all included.

Do you sometimes have the feeling that your students don’t hear a word you say? You are probably right—especially when a mistaken goal is involved.

Maya Angelou once shared, “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Rudolf Dreikurs shared “Making mistakes is human. Regard your mistakes as inevitable instead of feeling guilty, and you’ll learn better." Dreikurs’ perspective is supported by current day research. For example, Carol Dweck has found that students who perceive mistakes as opportunities to learn are more successful compared to students who avoid difficult tasks for fear of making mistakes. Dweck points out that students who are taught to embrace mistakes as opportunities develop strategies that lead to greater academic and personal success.

Last week during our class meetings, I noticed a disturbing habit developing among my students. Sometimes they don't want to switch seats and move away from their best friends, and sometimes they want to be the last one standing (when we do an activity that has us sit down after our turn). Then we talked about how this might make everyone else feel and how it might affect our class community. We agreed that this was a problem because it did not make everyone feel welcome. Finally, I asked them for suggestions to solve the problem.

Many of the following mistakes are made in the name of love. Too often we think we are helping our children when the long-term results of what we do may be discouraging. Other mistakes are made because we just don't know what else to do. Thankfully, one of the foundation principles of Positive Discipline is that "Mistakes are Wonderful Opportunities to Learn".

I'm a French as a Second Language teacher in the elementary school system in Toronto Ontario. I've been teaching French on rotary for 8 years. There have been many challenges and it has been 3 years that I have been using Positive Discipline in the Classroom to help with these challenges.

Curiosity Questions Conversational

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