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What Does Your Child Under Three Really "Know" About "No"?

Children under the age of three do not understand "no" in the way most parents think they do. (And, a full understanding of "no" doesn't occur magically when the child turns three. It is a developmental process.) "No" is an abstract concept that is in direct opposition to the developmental need of young children to explore their world and to develop their sense of autonomy and initiative, as discussed in Chapters 4 and 5 of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers.

How can I discipline my children without hitting, yelling or any negative attitudes towards them even when they misbehave or don't want to listen to me?

Question:

I teach 1st and 2nd grade (combined classes). I am having trouble finding inventive ways to control the chatter while I (or a student) am trying to talk. Please help!

REMEMBER WHEN YOUR teen was a baby just learning to walk? What a milestone. You didn‘t want to miss any of it, and you were very supportive and encouraging. You would take her little hands in yours and start walking along with her—but you knew you had to let go in order for her to walk by herself.

What do you think of when you hear the word “discipline”? Most people think of punishment. I invite you to think a little deeper starting with the exploration of the long-term results of punishment.

You hear a lot of talk these days about boundaries. Oprah talks about setting healthy boundaries. Parenting books explain how to set boundaries. Parents everywhere understand the need for rules. So what, precisely, is it that makes discipline so frustrating? The way I see it, it isn't setting the rules and boundaries that's the problem for most parents: it's following through.

Question:

I am looking for some concrete practical tips for dealing with bullying behavior in a school setting. How can I work to change the bully's behavior? How can I help the victim avoid any further victimization?

Question: Bedtime at our house has become an absolute nightmare! My 6-year-old daughter will not go to sleep unless I stay in the room. I have tried to wean her off this dependency by leaving the room for short periods of time, but this causes her to deliberately try to stay awake waiting for me to return.

Reward System in Preschool

Question:

I would like some feedback regarding the following situation:

My oldest daughter just turned 3 and is in a preschool program 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. There is a teacher and assistant for 12 children. The teacher is very young and this is her second year teaching children of this age group. The assistant is much older and has grown children of her own.

My present concern is regarding a newly instituted reward system. With only 2 1/2 months of school left in this school year the teacher began a reward system that she said would help to get the children to better use their "good listening" skills. Sounds like a last ditch act of desperation to me but then again I am already somewhat biased against "quid pro quo" types of discipline.

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that the way to make a child "do" better is to first make him or her "feel worse"? That is the premise of punishment; and it is truly crazy. Think of the last time you felt scolded and humiliated by another adult. Were you thinking, "This is so helpful. I really appreciate it. I will now do so much better, and I can hardly wait to consult you will all my problems." Unlikely. The truth is that children (and adults) do better when they feel better.

What Does Your Child Under Three Really "Know" About "No"?

Discipline Without Yelling, Hitting, or Spanking

Trouble Controlling Chatter in Classroom

Parenting and Teenagers

Child Discipline: To Punish or Not

Follow Through

Dealing with bullying behavior in a school setting

Overcoming Bedtime Hassles

Reward System in Preschool

A Misbehaving Child is a Discouraged Child

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