Parents

Many of the following mistakes are made in the name of love. Too often we think we are helping our children when the long-term results of what we do may be discouraging. Other mistakes are made because we just don't know what else to do. Thankfully, one of the foundation principles of Positive Discipline is that "Mistakes are Wonderful Opportunities to Learn".

Now that school has started, parents everywhere often struggle with making the big transition from long, relaxing summer days to hectic, rushed school days.

Many of the parents I work with say that either getting out the door in the morning or putting the kids to bed at night is their most stressful time. Whether it’s due to dawdling or outward defiance, it’s no wonder parents feel at a loss for what to do!

Connection Before Correction is one of my all-time favorite Parenting with Positive Discipline mantras. I believe these are words to live by both in the moment of dissatisfying behavior, and in the long run as a foundation for any relationship.

The Positive Discipline E-Zine is a quarterly publication featuring Dr. Jane Nelsen and other Positive Discipline Trainers. Each issue is full of valuable information and advice for parents!

Does this seem like a novel idea—for you to take some time-out instead of sending your children to time-out? We all know that example is the best teacher. Sachiko Jordan, a member of the Southern CA Positive Discipline Mentor group, shares how effective it was for her to use time-out for herself.

From the book, Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World,
by H. Stephen Glenn & Jane Nelsen

Do you create any of the following barriers regularly with someone you love? Do you believe that if you worked at it you could use them less often? Let's look at an example as a means of understanding the barriers and builders. Suppose four-year-old Linda becomes stuck when her tricycle wheel runs off the sidewalk. There are several ways a parent could handle this situation that would decrease feelings of capability:

When parents ask, “How do I motivate my teen?” they usually mean, “How do I get my teen to do what I want? How do I get her to have some balance in her life? How do I get him off the computer, get outside, or do just about anything except sitting around doing nothing?”

Some of you may know that a Hug is one of my favorite Positive Discipline Tools. During this podcast you will understand why as I interview Beth Whitehead after she sent me the following success story.

Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship.

Children under the age of three do not understand "no" in the way most parents think they do. (And, a full understanding of "no" doesn't occur magically when the child turns three. It is a developmental process.) "No" is an abstract concept that is in direct opposition to the developmental need of young children to explore their world and to develop their sense of autonomy and initiative, as discussed in Chapters 4 and 5 of Positive Discipline for Preschoolers.