by Julietta Skoog from Sproutable - Certified Positive Discipline Trainer with an Ed.S Degree in School Psychology and a Masters Degree in School Counseling with over 20+ years of experience helping families in schools and homes.
The Early Childhood Tool Card of Letting kids help is an important teaching and parenting strategy. Yes, it may take longer and often creates a bigger clean up, but the skill building and sense of significance and belonging reaps big rewards. Watch this video from our friends at Sproutable to see how your little ones can learn initiative, responsibility, independence and more when we use this tool intentionally.
1. Look for opportunities: Be on the lookout for moments where a child can help out, whether it's setting the table, watering plants, classroom jobs, or cleaning up a mess.
2. Break tasks down: If a task seems too overwhelming for a child, break it down into smaller steps that they can easily accomplish. This will build their confidence and skills.
3. Demonstrate first: If needed, show the child what needs to be done before letting them try it themselves. This visual demonstration can help them understand the task better.
4. Keep expectations realistic: Remember that the goal is not perfection, but rather the experience and confidence gained from trying to help. Show appreciation for their efforts, no matter the outcome.
5. Recognize bids for connection: When a child is seeking attention or closeness, respond by inviting them to help you with a task. This can strengthen your bond and lead to more cooperation in the future.
Tips for older elementary school kids:
6. Make it a Routine: If you haven’t started family meetings yet, get those going so there is a placeholder for checking in on contributions. Invite them to make a list of ways THEY want to help, and give them the autonomy to choose any of them at the same time each day. Stack it before a preferred activity so that the routine is the boss. “When you finish your contribution, yes, then you can play outside. Thanks so much for the help.” In the classroom, incorporate classroom jobs into the activities throughout the day. ALL students should have a daily job, not just five “special” students that have a job for the week.
7. Find the Fun: When you meet resistance, follow through with firmness and fun. Say “I know you don’t want to unload the dishwasher AND we are a team! We need to all pitch in so we can support each other. You pick the podcast (or music, or Alexa trivia) and let's set the timer to see if we can make a new personal record.” Model the optimism, and let the eye rolling go (for now). Focus on the follow through of the request and finding ways to make the time go by faster for them.
By incorporating the "Let Them Help" tool into your interactions with young children, you can help them develop important life skills, boost their self-esteem, and foster a sense of belonging and significance. It requires patience and flexibility on your part (two skills we are also teaching children), but the benefits for the child's growth and development are well worth it.
