Parents

The reason I have used Positive Discipline (based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs), in my own life and to share with others, is that it works. Thousands of parents have shared with me that it works for them to improve their relationships with their children and to help their children learn self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation and problem-solving skills. Still, many organizations cannot adopt programs unless that are “evidence based” or have the designation of “best practices.” Achieving best practices can be very expensive, involving extensive research.

I know that people who are against punishment are drawn to Positive Discipline, but they often see only the kind part and take that kindness to the extreme. Why is it that human beings seem most comfortable when thinking in extremes? The pendulum seems to swing back and forth in argument for being very strict (firm) with children to the other extreme of being very lenient (kind) with children. Why is it so difficult to help parents see the value of being both kind and firm?

Many of you know that “Hugs” is one of my favorite Positive Discipline Tool Cards. A hug is one of the best ways to create the important theme of Positive Discipline: Connection Before Correction. I have been receiving some great hug stories and have decided to start collecting them and sharing them with you.

Many parents say, “I want to give my children self-esteem.” However, you can’t “give” self-esteem to any one. Self-esteem is personally developed from within. Even that is not entirely true. Have you ever noticed how fleeting is self-esteem? One minute you feel really great about yourself. Then someone criticizes you or you make a mistake and criticize yourself. Suddenly your self-esteem is in the pits.

Some of you may know that the Positive Discipline Association sponsors training for people to become Certified Positive Discipline Educators.

After they take the first two-day training, many decide they want to proceed with advanced training so they send a “Letter of Intent” to become a trainer candidate. We just received the following letter from Joy Sacco. I found it so inspiring that I asked her permission to share it with others.

It is always fun to interview someone who is so enthusiastic about their successes with Positive Discipline. Following is the email I received from Stephanie Peterson-Ferrel before calling her for an interview. Be sure to check out her website. Her writing is humorous and captures the feelings of many people.

Parents, have you experienced the teenage time warp phenomenon yet? One minute you're snuggling with your kindergarten-age child, who has crawled into your bed on a lazy Saturday morning, and the next minute you're staring at a Keep Out sign on her bedroom door. Ohmigosh, what happened to that little girl I once knew?!?

Every Christmas, advertising creates a shortage for the latest toy rage. Remember the year it was Furbys? That was the "good old days, when a popular toy was less expensive. Now they are iPads, xBoxes, or iPhones—items that cost hundreds of dollars. And what do parents do? Anything they can to make sure their little darling is not deprived. They get up at 4:00 a.m. to stand in line at a toy store with a limited supply, or they pay 10 times the retail price to scalpers who advertise on Internet auctions.

The following is an article I wrote for the Activity/Resource book that is part of the Five CD Positive Discipline Workshop: How to Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be While Helping Empowering Your Children to Feel Capable, Confident, and Competent. It is long, and contains lots of helpful information.

Success Letter from Workshop Participant

Hi Jane,

As far as I am concerned, the workshop is far from over! I've been reading all my books, Understanding Serenity, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Positive Discipline A to Z, the main Positive Discipline Book.—as well as listening to your CDS. Your philosophy on living and parenting, your principles about living and parenting—your way of living in general—give me more hope than anything else I have ever come across. I am truly inspired, and am already incorporating many of the tools—family meetings, remembering that mistakes are opportunities to learn, asking what and how curiosity questions, looking for solutions instead of blame, sharing encouraging messages (I have faith in you, is my fav.) and always getting the message of love across.