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Every human being is
born with the potential to become the world's most capable creature, not with
the capabilities themselves. Unlike the amoeba, which is capable of
functioning at its full potential from creation, humans acquire their
capabilities primarily through apprenticeship: young human beings learn from
those who have preceded them. When this apprenticeship is adequate, their
toolboxes of life, which were empty at birth, are filled with the essential
tools for effective living. In times of change, these tools, which we call
life resources, are particularly critical. For convenience we usually refer to
these assets as "the Significant Seven." Ironically, researchers initially
identified them almost by their absence. Insight dawned slowly as we reviewed
research on those young people most likely to become clients of the criminal
justice system, human services system, and social welfare system and those who
failed to realize potential in school. Many of these people, we discovered,
were those most poorly developed in these seven areas. Conversely, people who
are living effectively and who are outstanding in many walks of life were
characterized by unusual strength and adequacy in the Significant Seven.
Children and adults
who are most at risk in behavioral health areas such as drugs, early
pregnancy, delinquency, gangs, chronic academic problems, and so forth, are
characteristically weak and/or inadequate in several if not all of the
Significant Seven. Interestingly, research shows that people who have been
living effectively but who become chemically dependent for any period of time
normally regress in most of these areas. Once they are detoxified, the
recovery process seeks to strengthen and/or rebuild the Significant Seven to
help them maintain their recovery and begin to grow again. In fact, it might
be said that all children are born at risk to problems of dependency. The
perceptions and skills that are necessary for self-reliance and effective
living require development and maintenance.
Significant Seven
Universal research reveals that children who
become successful adults posses the following abilities.
- I am confident of my personal capability
when faced with challenges.
- I believe I am personally significant and
make meaningful contributions.
- I have a positive influence over my life; I
take responsibility for my choices.
- I have strong intrapersonal skills and I
manage my emotions through self-awareness and self-discipline.
- I have strong interpersonal skills and I am
able to effectively communicate, negotiate, and empathize with others.
- I am able to adapt with flexibility and
integrity, I have strong systemic skills.
- I have well developed judgment skills and
able to make decisions with integrity.
Now consider the
characteristics of low-risk individuals—people unlikely to fall into the known
problem areas and likely to prove themselves successful, productive, capable
human beings. They have developed the following:
Perception of personal capabilities—capable of facing
problems and learning through challenges and experiences Perceptions of
personal significance--capable of contributing in meaningful ways and
believing that life has meaning and purpose Perceptions of personal influence
over life—capacity to understand that one's actions and choices influence
one's life and hold one accountable Intrapersonal skills—capacity to manage
emotions through self-assessment, self-control and self-discipline
Interpersonal skills—capacities necessary to deal effectively with others
through communication, cooperation, negotiation, sharing, empathizing, and
listening Systemic skills—capacity for responding to the limits, consequences,
and interrelatedness of human and natural systems with responsibility,
adaptability, flexibility, and integrity Judgment skills—capacity for making
decisions and choices that reflect moral and ethical principles, wisdom, and
values A primary goal of parenting and teaching processes is that of
strengthening these areas so that our young people can take on life with an
adequate base of these personal resources and assets.
To comprehend the critical importance of this task,
understand that young people who believe they are incapable and insignificant
and that whatever happens is beyond their control tend to live life by default
and reaction. They are generally exceptionally vulnerable sexually,
chemically, socially, legally, and/or academically.
However, young people who strongly believe they are
capable of initiating learning and change in their lives have significance,
and that no matter what circumstances they encounter, they have the capacity
within themselves to influence how they respond and live in the face of them
usually live by intent and action and are therefore much less vulnerable.
It is possible to help people in the first category to
progress to the second at any time in life, but the younger they are when they
develop a strong base, the greater the lifelong benefits.
Many ideas to help
children develop strength in the Significant Seven Perceptions and Skills can
be found in the book, Raising Self Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World
by H. Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelsen.
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